Cheerleading Practise
by Tate-chan
Summary: What would happen if Miaka decided to teach the seishi to cheerlead?


Right. This is MUCH different than my other ficcys and stories, but I HAD to write it. It was a chance for gratuitous Miaka-killing! R&R, if you like.  
  
***  
  
Cheerleading Practise  
  
"Hey, you guys! Miaka called, running down the hill towards the seishi.  
  
"Ahem," Nuriko said loudly, and continued painting his nails hot pink.  
  
"And girls," she said sarcastically. She was wearing soffies and a T-shirt. It was really scary. "I just got back from cheerleading camp. It was really fun!" she said way too perkily.  
  
"What's cheerleading?" Tamahome asked.  
  
"It's a way we cheer on sports teams," Miaka answered. Suddenly, she had an idea. (Wow, that's got to be a first) "Hey, I'm going to teach you to be cheerleaders!"  
  
Once she had them all lined up and explained what they were going to do, they warming up. This is what they did: (in a rhythmic way)  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam! Miaka do your thing!  
  
Miaka: I can't!  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Miaka: I just can't!  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Miaka: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right!  
  
All: From the left, to the right, to the left, right, left, right! Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Chichiri do your thing!  
  
Chichiri: (reluctantly) I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Chichiri: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Chichiri: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right!  
  
All: From the left, to the right, to the left, right, left, right! Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Chichiri: Tamahome do your thing!  
  
Tamahome: For how much?  
  
Miaka: No no no! You're supposed to say "I can't," okay?  
  
Tamahome: Okay, I guess.  
  
Miaka: Okay. Chichiri, start again!  
  
Chichiri: Tamahome do your thing!  
  
Tamahome: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Tamahome: 'Cause you won't tell me how much you're paying me.  
  
Miaka: NO! This time, you're supposed to say "I just can't"! got it?  
  
Tamahome: Got it!  
  
Miaka: Good. Chichiri, start!  
  
Chichiri: Tamahome do your thing!  
  
Tamahome: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Tamahome: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Tamahome: Because Miaka won't tell how much I'm getting paid.  
  
Miaka: That's it! You're out! Go away!  
  
Tamahome: (walks to some corner to cry)  
  
Miaka: I'll start again.  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Chichiri do your thing!  
  
Chichiri: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Chichiri: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Chichiri: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right!  
  
All: From the left, to the right, to the left, right, left, right! Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Chichiri: Mitsukake do your thing!  
  
Mitsukake: ...  
  
Miaka: Ack! Go find Tamahome, Mitsukake.  
  
Mitsukake: (walks off to find Tamahome)  
  
Miaka: Okay, let's try this again.  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Chichiri do your thing!  
  
Chichiri: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Chichiri: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Chichiri: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right!  
  
All: From the left, to the right, to the left, right, left, right! Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Chichiri: Chiriko do your thing!  
  
Chiriko: Um, I believe this is a bit too mature for me...  
  
Miaka: Oh, yeah. Okay. Go away.  
  
Chiriko: (sighs, relieved, and goes to fid a book)  
  
Miaka: From the top, then.  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Chichiri do your thing!  
  
Chichiri: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Chichiri: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Chichiri: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right!  
  
All: From the left, to the right, to the left, right, left, right! Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Chichiri: Hotohori do your thing!  
  
Hotohori: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Hotohori: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Hotohori: My back aches, the sun's too hot, my bootie shakes from the left to the right. And it's improper.  
  
Miaka: Oh, we were so close! Just go away, Hotohori!  
  
Hotohori: (walks away to touch up makeup)  
  
Miaka: From the top!  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Chichiri do your thing!  
  
Chichiri: I can't.  
  
Others: Why not?  
  
Chichiri: I just can't.  
  
Others: Why not?!  
  
Chichiri: (finally snapping) Because this is madness no da! Madness I tell you no da! What is this world coming to no da?! (runs away sobbing (no da))  
  
Miaka: Well then. From the top, then?  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Tasuki do your thing!  
  
Tasuki: Nope. I'm with the monk! (walks away, randomly setting things on fire)  
  
Miaka: Well! Once again, from the top!  
  
All: Peanut butter, Reese's cup, we sing this song to pump up! Wham blam! Uncle Sam!  
  
Miaka: Nuriko do your thing!  
  
Nuriko: I can't.  
  
Miaka: Why not?  
  
Nuriko: I just can't.  
  
Miaka: Why not?!  
  
Nuriko: 'Cause my nails are wet. (walks away blowing at nails)  
  
At this, Miaka cried out in anger. She ran to the pond and drowned herself. All the seishi, excluding Tamahome, rejoiced. Tamahome was sad. So he committed suicide too. The seishi (especially Tasuki) rejoiced again. 


End file.
